 A Good Thrashing

I took a little trip downtown last night, PARTNER.
 Tell me more, tell me more!
 How about a little trip up the fairway?
 So?

I bought chocolates first, as you advised.
 And then what happened, PARTNER?
 And you didn't bring me any?
 Now I'm advising you to keep your head down and mouth shut.

Things seemed to be going pretty well, PARTNER.
 That plumb bob was green, eh?
 You had more common interests than we have?
 You listened more than you are today?

But the Old Prude started hitting me with her purse.
 Lola the Hottie is a much better date for you, PARTNER!
 Don't tell me about Mrs. Crumplebottom when I'm golfing.
 I'd do better golfing with a purse. 